


Love Lights

by Zetal (Rodinia)



Series: Rare Ships Creation Challenge [14]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU From the End of Citizen Fang, And Getting Called Out For It, M/M, Season 8, So Where Did All This Angst Come From?, The Prompt Was Christmas Lights, Winchesters Behaving Badly, past Sam Winchester/Amelia Richardson - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-10
Updated: 2016-12-10
Packaged: 2018-09-07 13:23:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8802505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rodinia/pseuds/Zetal
Summary: After Citizen Fang, Sam and Dean fight and split up.  Dean calls Benny to meet him for a drink.  Benny's getting a little sick of Dean's shit and lets him know that.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Rare Ships Creation Challenge
> 
> Prompt: Christmas Lights, Denny

Once again, Dean had managed to run off his little brother. Benny answered his call, and they met up at a bar in Tennessee. Benny listened while Dean ranted about his little brother, as he had when Dean gushed about Sam in Purgatory. This time, though, Benny wasn’t listening uncritically. “Cher, he’s not wrong. Not this time. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate you gettin’ him away from me and not letting him kill me for something I didn’t do, but seems a mite wrong, the way you went about it.”

“What was I supposed to do? I couldn’t let him kill you, Benny.” Dean took a long swig of beer. “If he’d just listen to me… you’re not a monster. He’s all about letting things live if they don’t kill people, so I don’t know why he won’t give you a chance. It’s not like we didn’t establish years ago that his judgment isn’t exactly stellar but mine tends to be solid, and what I did to Amy was wrong. I’ve admitted that.”

“Have you? To Sam?”

Dean ignored it. “So why can’t he give you the chance he wanted me to give Amy?”

Benny reached out and took Dean’s beer, taking Dean’s hands in his. “Calm down, Dean. What’s done is done, and tryin’ to solve it while you’re still worked up is only gonna make things worse. You’re never gonna convince Sam to accept me if the two of you blow up every time I come up.” He let go of one of Dean’s hands and got to his feet, tugging Dean behind him as he started for the door. “Come on.”

Dean pulled his other hand free and picked up the beer to finish off. “Where are we going?”

“We’re gonna go drive around, look at the Christmas lights.”

Dean raised a skeptical eyebrow. “Why?”

“Because you got a car and it’ll be warmer than walking.” Dean didn’t move, and Benny sighed. “Look, Dean. I’m going to look at the Christmas lights. You wanna come with me, come with me. You don’t, well…” He came back and sat down. “I figured your brother, your call on how we played this. But I can’t do this anymore. Not if you’re gonna shut me out like this.”

Dean’s eyes went wide and he finished off the beer in a hurry. “Let’s go.”

 

They’d been driving in silence for fifteen minutes, Benny focused completely on the lights out the window, before Dean couldn’t take it anymore. “Benny? You okay?”

“No. I knew it’d be hard up here. This thirst, it’s powerful. Ain’t nothing I can do about it other than keep on like I am, drinking animal blood and keeping donated blood for emergencies. That I can handle.” Benny turned away from the Christmas lights to look at Dean. “Didn’t realize how bad the loneliness would be, though. Got used to being on my own in Purgatory, thought it’d be the same up here, but it’s not.”

“Benny, we talked about…”

“Yeah. We talked about givin’ you some time to figure out how to tell your brother about me, waiting for you to call and set up an introduction. Now I realize us meetin’ the way we did set things back a bit, but you don’t seem to be making much progress on figuring out how to make that happen.”

Dean sighed. “I’m trying, Benny. I am. It’s just…”

“Meanwhile, I got nothing. And this mess with your pal Martin and Lizzie and Desmond, just reminded me that no matter what I try to build for myself, I’m always one step away from losing it. I can’t do this anymore, Dean, not like this. Need to know if I got something I can count on, someone who’ll be there when I need him, or if I’m on my own. I love you, and I don’t wanna end things. But I need to know if you’re in or out, because this halfway business isn’t working.”

“Come on, Benny. Just give me a little more time here.” Dean looked over to Benny. “Please don’t give up on me just yet. Not at Christmas.”

Benny turned away, studying the lights outside his window. The blinking multicolored lights wrapped around the trees weren’t exactly helpful in organizing his thoughts. Nor was the nativity scene lit with green and red spotlights.

He pulled out his cell phone and looked at it. There was only one number stored in it. “Can I borrow your phone? Need to look up a phone number.”

“Yeah, sure.” Dean handed over his phone. “Who are you calling?”

Benny didn’t answer as he started scrolling through the list. He paused a moment. “Cas? As in the angel?”

“Oh shit. Yeah. Program that in, he made it out somehow.”

“And you didn’t think I’d wanna know that the only other friend I might have was out here?”

“He’s been… off. Acting weird. I wanted to…”

“You wanted to keep me out of your life.” Benny programmed Castiel’s phone number into his phone. “You tell me about Cas, increases the chances of me runnin’ into Sam. Never mind that maybe with Cas’s word in addition to yours, Sam might be willing to listen.”

“Are you kidding me? You think after what Cas did to Sammy he’d have any reason to trust Cas’s judgment?” Dean looked at the phones. “I’m sorry. I should’ve called and told you Cas was back. Or given him your phone number and told him to call you, or something.”

Benny found the number he’d originally borrowed Dean’s phone for and dialed. To his surprise, Sam answered. “Who is this and how did you get this number?”

“It’s Benny, and from Dean.” Benny waited a moment for a response or for Sam to hang up. “Sam, I think you and me need to talk.” Dean pulled over to the side of the road and stared at Benny incredulously.

“That where Dean went, then? Fine. Talk. I’ll listen. But if you’re just making excuses for Dean, you might as well save yourself the effort.”

“No, I’m not making excuses for Dean.” Benny got out of the Impala and leaned up against it. “Sam, I know you got a problem with me. Wish I could blame you for it, but I can’t.”

“I hear Martin’s dead.”

“Yeah. If he’d just gone for me, I’d’ve let him do it. But he hurt my great-granddaughter, it was me or him, and even after seein’ my fangs Lizzie tried to save me. I didn’t hurt no one who wasn’t tryin’ to hurt me, who hadn’t hurt an innocent person. Your pal Martin? Hurt an innocent person. And you’re the one who had him following me. Some hunter or other woulda come for Desmond, maybe, but they wouldn’t have had a reason to come after me. Even if I didn’t take care of the problem for them. I had a good gig with a job and someone to keep myself straight for. Now? Only thing I got in this world is Dean and a powerful thirst.”

“That supposed to be a threat?”

“No, no. I’m just sayin’. I’m the only person here who didn’t do anything wrong. You sent Martin after me, Martin jumped to the wrong conclusion, Dean sent you that fake text. And now an innocent girl’s been hurt and I got less reason to go straight.”

“What is it you want, Benny? To lecture me?”

“No. I get why you did what you did, and you ain’t responsible for Martin’s actions. I just think I’ve earned the chance to have you listen to me. I went straight. Being able to have Dean in my life will help me stay that way, and unlike Lizzie, Dean knows what I am and what I’ve done. He’s probably gonna be pissed at me for telling you this, but he’s not just the only friend I got up here – although now I guess there’s Cas. We went through Purgatory together, and while we were out there, I fell in love with him. Thought he returned it, but since we been on Earth, I’m not too sure. Not really acting like it.”

“You and Dean are… why didn’t he tell me about that?”

Benny shook his head. It was a fair question. One he shared. “In Purgatory, he said he’d need some time to figure out how to tell you. Then we met, and only way it coulda gone worse is if you used that machete. Guess he’s still tryin’ to figure out how the hell to tell you.”

“That idiot.” There was a long pause. “So what now?”

“So now I gotta ask you: there a point to me waitin’ around for Dean to sort his shit out, or should I cut ties now like I’m thinkin’ about? I’m not asking you to be my friend. Just to accept Dean and me bein’ in each other’s lives so he don’t have to sneak around to see me or hide any time I call him to remind myself of something stronger than the thirst.”

Another long pause. “Don’t come around for a bit. I just completely severed ties with someone I loved. I don’t think I could deal with you and him. Give me some time to deal. I promise, I’m not pulling a Dean, I’m not going to keep putting you off. And he doesn’t have to sneak around or lie to me about talking to you or heading off to see you.”

“Thank you, Sam.” Benny hung up and got back in the car.

Dean looked over, eyes a complicated mix of emotions. “Guessing Sammy didn’t just hang up on you.”

“Nope. He listened, heard me out, and I told him what he needed to know. We’re not gonna be buddies, but you and me don’t have to sneak around just to talk.”

Dean nodded. “So…”

“So I’m willing to stick around, see if things change. I know Sam’s your first priority, and I can deal with that, but I gotta know that I’m a priority for you, Dean.”

“You are, Benny. Give me a chance, let me make this right. I love you.”

“Start provin’ it, chief.”

“I will.” Dean put the car back in gear. “More Christmas lights, or go find a room?”

“Take the scenic route to find a room.” Benny turned to look back at the lights, but this time, he was holding Dean's hand.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are as welcome as hugs for Benny.


End file.
